1. What inspired you to write Sex, Tears, and Orgasms?
Sex, Tears, and Orgasms is a testimonial to my conversion from Islam to Christianity. In this journey, I experienced the power of the Holy Spirit through Science, which played a significant role in the meaningfulness of my sexual transformation and inner healing. An authentic and personal encounter with the Divine Healer of all times: Jesus Christ!
In my quest to find happiness, I went through lots of layers and sessions of pain and trauma without knowing where to begin. My traumas were so invasive that even the valleys of the darkness rejected me!
At an early age, I was the victim of Female Genital mutilation and Cutting (FGM/C) and sexual violence, which I wrote about extensively in my first book, Swimming In a Red Sea (2018).
According to both The World Health Organization (WHO) and UNICEF, Female Genital Mutilation is "all procedures involving partial or total removal of the female external genitalia or other injury to the female genital organs for non-medical reasons." FGM is a violation of girls' and women's human rights. From 1995 to 2007, WHO classified FGM into four broad categories:
Type I: Partial or total removal of the clitoris and the prepuce.
Type II: Partial or total removal of the clitoris and labia minora, with or without excision of the labia majora.
Type III: Narrowing of the vaginal orifice by cutting and bringing together the labia minora and the labia majora to create a kind of seal, with or without excision of the clitoris. In most instances, the cut edges of the labia are stitched together, referred to as 'infibulation.'
Type IV: All other harmful procedures to the female genitalia for non-medical purposes, for example, pricking, piercing, incising, scraping and cauterization. Over time, creativity, mainly writing, gave me a great source of comfort, but all that could also go so far. I was only partially fulfilled until I met "A Man" and "A God" called Jesus Christ! Consider me the bleeding woman who touched Jesus in the Gospel of Luke 8:43-48 (NIV).
Encountering Jesus was my wildest, unexpected gift from heaven because I had been all of these, Muslim, atheist, and Buddhist before, yet I was still lost. Then, through my conversion from Islam to a Christian Catholic, I realized that the love of Christ surpasses all love!
In my quest to find happiness, I went through lots of layers and sessions of pain and trauma without knowing where to begin. My traumas were so invasive that even the valleys of the darkness rejected me!
At an early age, I was the victim of Female Genital mutilation and Cutting (FGM/C) and sexual violence, which I wrote about extensively in my first book, Swimming In a Red Sea (2018).
According to both The World Health Organization (WHO) and UNICEF, Female Genital Mutilation is "all procedures involving partial or total removal of the female external genitalia or other injury to the female genital organs for non-medical reasons." FGM is a violation of girls' and women's human rights. From 1995 to 2007, WHO classified FGM into four broad categories:
Type I: Partial or total removal of the clitoris and the prepuce.
Type II: Partial or total removal of the clitoris and labia minora, with or without excision of the labia majora.
Type III: Narrowing of the vaginal orifice by cutting and bringing together the labia minora and the labia majora to create a kind of seal, with or without excision of the clitoris. In most instances, the cut edges of the labia are stitched together, referred to as 'infibulation.'
Type IV: All other harmful procedures to the female genitalia for non-medical purposes, for example, pricking, piercing, incising, scraping and cauterization. Over time, creativity, mainly writing, gave me a great source of comfort, but all that could also go so far. I was only partially fulfilled until I met "A Man" and "A God" called Jesus Christ! Consider me the bleeding woman who touched Jesus in the Gospel of Luke 8:43-48 (NIV).
Encountering Jesus was my wildest, unexpected gift from heaven because I had been all of these, Muslim, atheist, and Buddhist before, yet I was still lost. Then, through my conversion from Islam to a Christian Catholic, I realized that the love of Christ surpasses all love!
2. How can you explain briefly without giving away the book what that encounter looked like?
I would like to share a glimpse of my conversion and my first encounter with the Divine healer. It is in one of my chapters titled: I was Lost, and Now I am Found.
In a nutshell, I am the bleeding woman who touched Jesus's robe. This was not just a story from the Bible, but a personal experience that I lived. I used to bleed extensively for many years and had all kinds of medical help, but I was still the best tampons customer that had ever lived when I touched "The resurrected and glorified Jesus The "Host." Let me elaborate on the 'host, 'the unleavened bread that symbolizes the body of Christ during the Eucharist, a celebration initiated by Jesus at the Last Supper. The 'host' is not merely a conduit between us and Jesus; it becomes his body after the consecration. To quote Archbishop Fulton Sheen, 'The greatest love story of all time is contained in a tiny white host.'
In a nutshell, I am the bleeding woman who touched Jesus's robe. This was not just a story from the Bible, but a personal experience that I lived. I used to bleed extensively for many years and had all kinds of medical help, but I was still the best tampons customer that had ever lived when I touched "The resurrected and glorified Jesus The "Host." Let me elaborate on the 'host, 'the unleavened bread that symbolizes the body of Christ during the Eucharist, a celebration initiated by Jesus at the Last Supper. The 'host' is not merely a conduit between us and Jesus; it becomes his body after the consecration. To quote Archbishop Fulton Sheen, 'The greatest love story of all time is contained in a tiny white host.'
3. What is Sex?
The word 'sex' is not just a three-letter word with consonants and a vowel. It carries a weight of psychological, physiological, and socio-cultural pressure that is often unbearable. The fear of judgment and persecution accompanying it is a stark reminder of the societal implications of this word. We sometimes whisper this word, hoping that even the sound of our heartbeats would not hear it. The most cruel death or violence possible, such as FGM, where being born a girl alone is a curse, is a stark reminder of the societal implications of this word. The fear of judgment and persecution is a reality for many, and we must understand and empathize with these struggles. The societal impact of gender, including the pressure to conform to certain roles and expectations, is profound and often overlooked, but it shapes our lives in ways we may not even realize.
Throughout my life, from the moment I was born and identified as a girl, I was already a source of trouble rather than a grace, a gift. My sex was the first thing both my parents asked my mother: Is it a girl or is it a boy? And the doctor or the midwife said I was a girl. Was my mother scared at that time or subletting strictly for fulfilling one of her most significant callings as a woman? The honour of being a mother. Yes, she must have been having a boy who was far more interesting to her in-laws than any girl, even if she came out with the rarest pearl in her ears. If they called me a girl, why would they go through the trouble of extracting with a corny tetanic blade from my biological making: my clitoris that allowed them to name me a girl? And I, now throughout my lifetime until I met Jesus Christ the first time in His glorified self in a 'tiny Eucathrist' like Fulton Sheen puts it best: The resurrected and glorified Jesus Christ in the Holy Eucharist is the complete and fulness of our catholic faith. If you want to perfect romance, ask the Holy Spirit for the grace of falling love with the Eucharist to get a miraculous healing and recall my biological understanding of who I am, my clitoris, a girl. This battle of reclaiming my clitoris in a scientific mastering from what was left of the nerves of the clitoris was one of the most challenging mountains of Calvary I had to climb. But this journey gave me strength and empowerment in reclaiming my identity. This personal journey of self-discovery and empowerment, a testament to the power of reclaiming one's identity, is a story I hope can inspire others to do the same.
Throughout my life, from the moment I was born and identified as a girl, I was already a source of trouble rather than a grace, a gift. My sex was the first thing both my parents asked my mother: Is it a girl or is it a boy? And the doctor or the midwife said I was a girl. Was my mother scared at that time or subletting strictly for fulfilling one of her most significant callings as a woman? The honour of being a mother. Yes, she must have been having a boy who was far more interesting to her in-laws than any girl, even if she came out with the rarest pearl in her ears. If they called me a girl, why would they go through the trouble of extracting with a corny tetanic blade from my biological making: my clitoris that allowed them to name me a girl? And I, now throughout my lifetime until I met Jesus Christ the first time in His glorified self in a 'tiny Eucathrist' like Fulton Sheen puts it best: The resurrected and glorified Jesus Christ in the Holy Eucharist is the complete and fulness of our catholic faith. If you want to perfect romance, ask the Holy Spirit for the grace of falling love with the Eucharist to get a miraculous healing and recall my biological understanding of who I am, my clitoris, a girl. This battle of reclaiming my clitoris in a scientific mastering from what was left of the nerves of the clitoris was one of the most challenging mountains of Calvary I had to climb. But this journey gave me strength and empowerment in reclaiming my identity. This personal journey of self-discovery and empowerment, a testament to the power of reclaiming one's identity, is a story I hope can inspire others to do the same.
4. What is the psychological influence of having a clitoris reconstruction in your life?
Since my clitoris reconstruction (CR), I've experienced a profound transformation. I've embraced my sexuality with newfound confidence, enjoying real orgasms. This journey has not only restored a part of me taken by misfortune but also empowered me to thrive in my womanhood and sexuality.
My clitoris reconstruction journey has deepened my understanding of my own body and the value of embracing my biological gender. Through faith and science, I have reclaimed what misfortune took from me. This journey has also opened my eyes to the ignorance of those who perpetuate Female Genital Mutilation (FGM). It's crucial for all women to understand and appreciate their bodies, free from the influence of harmful practices like FGM.
Despite cultural and traditional norms, there's a pressing need for more knowledge about a woman's body. This knowledge is crucial for her, her husband, marriage, the community, and the environment. This knowledge has allowed me to delve deeper into the psychological theory of being a person in a conflicted society.
Most importantly, it helped me integrate my Christian worldview with my biological, physiological, and psychological knowledge as a wife, mother, and human, thus maintaining my understanding of how God and Science are complementary. It emphasizes what St. John Paul II said: "Science can purify religion from error and superstition; religion can purify Science from idolatry and false absolutes." Such a statement fit right in with me because, in my old faith, Islam, I was very superstitious.
Henceforth, my journey makes me see Sigmund Freud's theory more positively in congruence with what is happening with our world's sexual dysfunctionalities within ourselves, our cultures, and our borders. The historical aspects and our world's numerous concepts and contexts of our sexuality evolution are not just a business of our backyard matinee filled with barbecuing. However, it affects me, myself, and the body I live in with for all eternity. It also affects my husband and individuals, among others, in one way or another in today's fast-paced modern world.
In addition, the porn industry. It is worth an estimated 97 billion dollars globally. The sexual issues our children and youths are dealing with in the world today show that even though we put our heads in the sand, sex matters! Such profit is also possible because of sex trafficking, yet we pretend that sex does not matter. As a society, we are living with one of the defence mechanisms of Freud because we are blinded and in denial. We are projecting all distractions to avoid facing the elephant in the room, even in our marriages and sexual relationships with ourselves and others. Where porn addiction, emotional unfaithfulness seemingly fuelled by the ease of one text away, and online access tell us something about the nature of satisfaction. That somehow Freud is alluding to in his theory.
My clitoris reconstruction journey has deepened my understanding of my own body and the value of embracing my biological gender. Through faith and science, I have reclaimed what misfortune took from me. This journey has also opened my eyes to the ignorance of those who perpetuate Female Genital Mutilation (FGM). It's crucial for all women to understand and appreciate their bodies, free from the influence of harmful practices like FGM.
Despite cultural and traditional norms, there's a pressing need for more knowledge about a woman's body. This knowledge is crucial for her, her husband, marriage, the community, and the environment. This knowledge has allowed me to delve deeper into the psychological theory of being a person in a conflicted society.
Most importantly, it helped me integrate my Christian worldview with my biological, physiological, and psychological knowledge as a wife, mother, and human, thus maintaining my understanding of how God and Science are complementary. It emphasizes what St. John Paul II said: "Science can purify religion from error and superstition; religion can purify Science from idolatry and false absolutes." Such a statement fit right in with me because, in my old faith, Islam, I was very superstitious.
Henceforth, my journey makes me see Sigmund Freud's theory more positively in congruence with what is happening with our world's sexual dysfunctionalities within ourselves, our cultures, and our borders. The historical aspects and our world's numerous concepts and contexts of our sexuality evolution are not just a business of our backyard matinee filled with barbecuing. However, it affects me, myself, and the body I live in with for all eternity. It also affects my husband and individuals, among others, in one way or another in today's fast-paced modern world.
In addition, the porn industry. It is worth an estimated 97 billion dollars globally. The sexual issues our children and youths are dealing with in the world today show that even though we put our heads in the sand, sex matters! Such profit is also possible because of sex trafficking, yet we pretend that sex does not matter. As a society, we are living with one of the defence mechanisms of Freud because we are blinded and in denial. We are projecting all distractions to avoid facing the elephant in the room, even in our marriages and sexual relationships with ourselves and others. Where porn addiction, emotional unfaithfulness seemingly fuelled by the ease of one text away, and online access tell us something about the nature of satisfaction. That somehow Freud is alluding to in his theory.
5. What kind of awareness should we aspire to have when it comes to our sexuality and mental health?
Being patient and knowing oneself is a journey that is deeply intertwined with spirituality. It helps us understand why we act the way we do. Taking the time within the body that God has gifted us can help us improve decision-making about ourselves. This spiritual self-awareness allows us to know our sexuality in all its aspects with a strong sense of self, stress management, and behavior based on understanding past behavior to predict our future behavior better.
Today, there is a significant awareness of the importance of mental health, which has continued to increase by the minute since the pandemic. Thus, we must understand our minds, behaviours, culture, and environment. It looks like the taboo around healthy sex or meaningful sex is fading with more scientific demystification. However, the question I have always pondered about is whether Science alone suffices when it comes to our sex, sexuality, and the self within our society. While Science can provide valuable insights, it's important to remember that our understanding of sexuality and mental health is not solely based on scientific principles. Are we doing justice to our bodies by letting Science turn them into a playground?
Based on my experience, I believe I can effectively say that God healed me through Science because today, I know my identity not only as a woman with a clitoris but also as a beloved daughter of God. This truth makes me authentic, confident, honest, open to change, patient, with a great sense of humour, nonjudgmental, and observant. I am also genuinely interested in others. I like knowing perfectly, as Bishop Baron says, 'Your life is not about you.' This spiritual understanding of my identity has been a crucial part of my journey towards self-awareness and mental health.
Today, there is a significant awareness of the importance of mental health, which has continued to increase by the minute since the pandemic. Thus, we must understand our minds, behaviours, culture, and environment. It looks like the taboo around healthy sex or meaningful sex is fading with more scientific demystification. However, the question I have always pondered about is whether Science alone suffices when it comes to our sex, sexuality, and the self within our society. While Science can provide valuable insights, it's important to remember that our understanding of sexuality and mental health is not solely based on scientific principles. Are we doing justice to our bodies by letting Science turn them into a playground?
Based on my experience, I believe I can effectively say that God healed me through Science because today, I know my identity not only as a woman with a clitoris but also as a beloved daughter of God. This truth makes me authentic, confident, honest, open to change, patient, with a great sense of humour, nonjudgmental, and observant. I am also genuinely interested in others. I like knowing perfectly, as Bishop Baron says, 'Your life is not about you.' This spiritual understanding of my identity has been a crucial part of my journey towards self-awareness and mental health.
6. What Are Your Views On Integrating The Truth?
Despite the many definitions of the word "truth" after the postmodernists, my truth is God's truth! I firmly stand with my Judeo-Christian worldview with a fluid mindset. That will facilitate behavioural change within me and in my relationship with others, just like Romans 12:2 (NIV) states: "Do not conform to the pattern of this world but be transformed by renewing your mind. Then you can test and approve God's will: his good, pleasing and perfect." Jesus Christ, The Divine Healer, always respects our will and does not force himself on us. So, I will try to imitate him through the guidance of the Holy Spirit and be a perfect messenger of God to my readers like angels. This way, I will enhance the effectiveness and the ability to cope with the readers or victims of sexual violence by meeting them where they are in their journey and their worldview, no matter their cultural, economic, and socio-religious environmental background. Understanding and respecting each individual's unique journey and worldview is not just crucial, it's a fundamental part of our mission, as it fosters a sense of understanding and respect.
For many years before my conversion, I lived my life in fear and trauma. This kind of fear did not feel like hearing the loud noise of our neighbour's broken car or facing a steep mountain on a bicycle. It smelled like an existential fear, but killing myself was not an option either. Because deep down inside, I knew God was with me even though I questioned His existence each time the darkness of my cell hit as a reminder of another day of missed school. Now that I lost all trust in my biological father, who put me into this world, the new reference points of faith and love to cling on seemed more complicated and far-fetched. However, in the end, the only option was to fully accept life's dynamic and robust nature, with its ever-changing movement within and around me. I realized life is not a static entity but a constantly evolving journey that we must navigate with faith and courage. It's this faith that can provide us with the reassurance and comfort we need to face life's challenges.
For many years before my conversion, I lived my life in fear and trauma. This kind of fear did not feel like hearing the loud noise of our neighbour's broken car or facing a steep mountain on a bicycle. It smelled like an existential fear, but killing myself was not an option either. Because deep down inside, I knew God was with me even though I questioned His existence each time the darkness of my cell hit as a reminder of another day of missed school. Now that I lost all trust in my biological father, who put me into this world, the new reference points of faith and love to cling on seemed more complicated and far-fetched. However, in the end, the only option was to fully accept life's dynamic and robust nature, with its ever-changing movement within and around me. I realized life is not a static entity but a constantly evolving journey that we must navigate with faith and courage. It's this faith that can provide us with the reassurance and comfort we need to face life's challenges.
7. Through Sex, Tears, and Orgasms, Do You Intend To Contribute To the Psychological understanding of Sexual Violence And Meaningful Sex life with others?
I hope to contribute what I have learned in my own journey as a victim of FGM/C, and now I am a totally healed and orgasmic woman by sharing my story like I am doing with this story. I want people to understand that we are never alone, even when we think nobody is there. That is when God is active in our lives, seeks us, and stands at our door, knocking and hoping that we open our door and invite Him to dine with us. Allow him, most importantly, to be the conductor of our lives. Mainly when we want to go through surgery like a clitoris reconstruction. For instance, like I did. Knowledge of God and Science contributes to a better understanding of human complexity through the mind, body, and soul. Education, most notably women's education, aims to define its positive aspects and make its attributions more straightforward through us as wives, mothers, and leaders to many generations.
Psychology also shows us its limitations, revealing what can be done and what can not and suggesting new features that should be made part of the transcendent.
Through my conversion, I learned about psychology and understood the applied theories and modalities from a psychological perspective. My goals have shaped how I see myself and others through the eyes of God. The newfound knowledge about my identity in Christ, my sexuality, and my awareness of my psychological studies have kept me focused. I have a more positive approach to life, and my failures are temporary setbacks rather than personal shortcomings.
Psychology also shows us its limitations, revealing what can be done and what can not and suggesting new features that should be made part of the transcendent.
Through my conversion, I learned about psychology and understood the applied theories and modalities from a psychological perspective. My goals have shaped how I see myself and others through the eyes of God. The newfound knowledge about my identity in Christ, my sexuality, and my awareness of my psychological studies have kept me focused. I have a more positive approach to life, and my failures are temporary setbacks rather than personal shortcomings.
8. What are some of the changes you made as a result of taking psychology and embracing your sexuality?
I strongly and firmly believe that God put me in psychology to heal me. And to be a faithful testimony witness of His glory through the fantastic scientific outcome of my clitoris reconstruction with female genital mutilation and cutting (FGM). This experience assured me that I was to be born in Christ and be a beloved daughter of the Trinity in one Godhead. He made me understand that Jesus, my brother, and my Lord care for me and all, regardless of their social standing. Getting out of the religious situation is why I am excited about my conversion and have no shame or problem sharing the good news of Jesus with the world. I plan to do it directly or indirectly through my skills in helping others in need.
Furthermore, Spiritual Psychology has been a catalyst for profound changes in my parenting and relationships. It has given me a deeper understanding of myself and human nature, fostering a nonjudgmental and tolerant attitude towards others. Most importantly, it has instilled in me a sense of patience and a desire to help those around me. The transformation I've experienced in Christ has heightened my insight, generosity, love for humanity, ability to overcome biases, sense of motivation and goal-setting, and communication and empathy.
Furthermore, Spiritual Psychology has been a catalyst for profound changes in my parenting and relationships. It has given me a deeper understanding of myself and human nature, fostering a nonjudgmental and tolerant attitude towards others. Most importantly, it has instilled in me a sense of patience and a desire to help those around me. The transformation I've experienced in Christ has heightened my insight, generosity, love for humanity, ability to overcome biases, sense of motivation and goal-setting, and communication and empathy.
9. What do you hope to achieve with this book?
Through my journey, I aim to contribute to the psychological and spiritual understanding of sexual violence and the pursuit of a meaningful sex life. But more than that, I hope to foster a sense of connection and empathy. I believe that by sharing our experiences, we can find common ground, feel less isolated, and realize that we are not alone in our struggles.
I hope to contribute what I have learned in my journey as a victim of FGM/C, and now I am a healed and orgasmic woman by sharing my story like I am doing with this story. I want people to understand that we are never alone, even when we think nobody is there. That is when God is active in our lives, seeks us, and stands at our door, knocking and hoping that we open our door and invite Him to dine with us. Allow him, most importantly, to be the conductor of our lives, mainly when we want to go through surgery like a clitoris reconstruction, for instance, as I did. Knowledge of God and Science contributes to a better understanding human complexity through the mind, body, and soul. Education, most notably women's education, aims to define its positive aspects and make its attributions more straightforward through us as wives, mothers, and leaders to many generations.
Psychology, while illuminating, also reveals its limitations, guiding us on what can and our limitations. It suggests new dimensions that should be integrated into the transcendent, offering a beacon of hope and enlightenment.
Through my journey, I've embraced psychology and its applied theories from a spiritual perspective. My goals, shaped by my faith, have transformed how I perceive myself and others. The knowledge of my identity in Christ, my sexuality, and my psychological studies have kept me focused. I now approach life positively, viewing my failures as temporary setbacks rather than personal shortcomings. My resilience can inspire and encourage others.
I hope to contribute what I have learned in my journey as a victim of FGM/C, and now I am a healed and orgasmic woman by sharing my story like I am doing with this story. I want people to understand that we are never alone, even when we think nobody is there. That is when God is active in our lives, seeks us, and stands at our door, knocking and hoping that we open our door and invite Him to dine with us. Allow him, most importantly, to be the conductor of our lives, mainly when we want to go through surgery like a clitoris reconstruction, for instance, as I did. Knowledge of God and Science contributes to a better understanding human complexity through the mind, body, and soul. Education, most notably women's education, aims to define its positive aspects and make its attributions more straightforward through us as wives, mothers, and leaders to many generations.
Psychology, while illuminating, also reveals its limitations, guiding us on what can and our limitations. It suggests new dimensions that should be integrated into the transcendent, offering a beacon of hope and enlightenment.
Through my journey, I've embraced psychology and its applied theories from a spiritual perspective. My goals, shaped by my faith, have transformed how I perceive myself and others. The knowledge of my identity in Christ, my sexuality, and my psychological studies have kept me focused. I now approach life positively, viewing my failures as temporary setbacks rather than personal shortcomings. My resilience can inspire and encourage others.
Conclusion
God and Science is an exciting adventure! Sex, Tears, and Orgasms are part of the Holy Spirit phenomenon. He co-authored my story. My conversion and writing this book have influenced my life and provided fun, rewards, and understanding of my self-confidence, identity, belonging, and competence. Moreover, Science investigates the natural world, while religion deals with the spiritual and supernatural—hence, the two can be complementary. Befriending God through His word and sacraments and studying Psychology have given me tremendous personal growth and more confidence in all worldly views, particularly my Christian worldview, where I found that humans are more alike than different.
References
“Female Genital Mutilation,” World Health Organization, last modified January 31, 2023, https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/female-genitalmutilation. World Health Organization, “Female Genital Mutilation.”
Gospel of Luke 8:43-48 (NIV).
Archbishop Fulton Sheen stated “The greatest love story of all time is contained in a tiny white host.”
Romans 12:2 (NIV):
Gospel of Luke 8:43-48 (NIV).
Archbishop Fulton Sheen stated “The greatest love story of all time is contained in a tiny white host.”
Romans 12:2 (NIV):
